Practicing self-compassion in the legal profession
Emily Jarrett is the Missouri Lawyers’ Assistance Program (MOLAP) clinician and well-being coordinator.
In celebration of Well-Being Week in Law May 4-8, The Missouri Bar Standing Committee on Well-Being in the Profession is highlighting several well-being activities and programs to enhance Missouri lawyers’ competence and help them even better serve their clients and communities.
Given the high expectations and demands within the legal profession, it is not surprising the impact on well-being. A 2024 Bloomberg Law report found that 55% of lawyers experienced anxiety, 29% reported depression, and 37% reported worsened mood.1 Lawyers also reported feeling burnt out almost half of the time at work, while 57% surveyed listed work stress as a top reason they may leave their job.2
Emotional intelligence includes the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in ourselves and others, which then guides our thinking and behavior.3 In a field where perfectionism is prevalent, it can be easy to fall into a loop of self-criticism. However, research shows that fostering self-compassion can have positive impacts on well-being as it is linked to more autonomy, competence, and relatedness,4 all of which help lawyers be advocates for their clients.
Self-compassion requires an awareness of personal suffering and the ability to recognize thoughts, feelings, and actions without self-judgement. It involves recognizing when you are struggling, a key part of self-awareness, and ending self-criticism.5
Research shows an inverse associate between self-compassion and negative mental states such as depression, anxiety, stress, and suicidal ideation, which are all highly prevalent in the legal profession. Self-compassion also reduces shame, which is at the core of many persistent negative mental states. It can help reduce automatic and negative thinking, avoidance of negative emotions, and entanglement with negative emotions, ultimately enhancing emotional regulation skills.6
When lawyers respond to themselves with compassion rather than criticism and negativity, they are better equipped to take care of their own well-being and effectively serve clients.
There are three main components of self-compassion to be mindful of throughout Well-Being Week in Law — and year-round.
Self kindness
Being kind and understanding toward yourself when you suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignore your pain or engage in harsh self-criticism.7 Approach the situation as if you were responding to a friend who is suffering — with warmth, support, helpfulness, and encouragement. This can help you feel safe and put you in a better frame of mind to cope with challenges or make needed changes, both professionally and personally.8
Common humanity
When we make a mistake, we tend to irrationally feel like we are alone in our struggles. This is not a logical process but instead is an emotional reaction that distorts reality.9 All humans suffer, not in the same way or amount, but the definition of being human means to be vulnerable, flawed, or imperfect. When you are compassionate, you can recognize that your suffering connects you to others rather than isolates you.10
Mindfulness
To have compassion for ourselves, we need to be willing to turn toward our pain and acknowledge it mindfully.11 This involves taking a balanced mindful approach toward our suffering to neither suppress or over-identify it.
For WWIL, consider writing a self-compassionate letter to yourself over the course of the week, which studies have shown can help decrease depression levels and increase happiness.12 By routinely pausing when you notice yourself engaging in critical self-talk and intentionally respond with self-compassion, you can help strengthen your well-being and even better advocate for your clients.
MOLAP is here to help you combat negative thoughts and establish healthier habits that can build your self-compassion. Call the confidential MOLAP phone number at 800-688-7859 or visit MoBar.org/MOLAP to speak to a professionally trained clinician.
1 2024 Attorney Well-Being Report: The Divide Between Health & the Legal Industry, Bloomberg Law (2024), https://assets.bbhub.io/bna/sites/18/2024/09/BLAW_2024_Well-Being-Report.pdf.
2 Id.
3 Dana Ackley, Emotional intelligence: A practical review of models, measures, and applications, 68 Consulting Psych. J.: Practice & Research 4, 269 (2016).
4 Katie Gunnell et al, Don't be so hard on yourself! Changes in self-compassion during the first year of university are associated with changes in well-being, 107 Personality and Individual Differences 1, 43 (2017).
5 Kristen Neff, Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention, 74 Annual Rev. of Psych 193 (2023).
6 Id.
7 Self-Compassion Institute, https://self-compassion.org/ (last visited April 30, 2026).
8 Id.
9 Id.
10 Id.
11 Kristen Neff, Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention, 74 Annual Rev. of Psych 193 (2023).
12 L.B. Shapira & M. Mongrain, The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals vulnerable to depression, 5 The J. of Positive Psych. 5, 377 (2010).